Today's case: "Coach, help me get rid of my obsession with control, with perfection, especially these days with this pandemic / economic crisis that just makes it worse for me. I heed help to get focused on MY right track again."
My support approach started with one question: “what is important for you today?” He looked at me in a way that brought out his inner confusion and he could not pick just one thing. He was so lost in his plans, wishes, and possible solutions to the issues he identified so far, that he was like a deer blinded by the headlights; he could not see the woods anymore.
I asked again: “what is important for you today?” And I added: “just pick the first thing from this list that comes to mind, that is the closest thing to your heart. Let’s start with that and we will figure it out some more among the way”. His face just lit up when after choosing one thing to focus on and starting to identify the available solutions, pick the options that seemed the ones he wanted to focus on now, just pushing the veil aside and starting to “see” clearly again was the push he needed to get back on track…
Boy, he was on a roll as soon as he defined the first tasks to cover for the next 2 week period… He could not wait to check the progress and actually get some returns on the quick wins we have defined today…
So, why do you think he was obsessed with control, with perfection? Because he was afraid to assume the choices, the failing of his goals. He was trying to do it all in an all too perfect way. The actual result was that he managed to achieve NOTHING in the end. The more he tried to control the outcome, the less control he actually had.
Sounds easy to do? Maybe too easy? Well, IT IS, folks, because all you need is focus on one thing to start with, not the whole change project you have in mind, but one tiny phase of it that can get you further in your transformation journey… That’s how it starts, one step at a time. Try it, you will see and marvel at the results you will get in no time!
Looking forward to his transformed self, hungry for new changes in his wonderful life…