Nowadays, everybody talks so much about soft skills, emotional intelligence and leadership. Yet, all three aspects of an individual’s personality and abilities are strongly influenced by their younger life’s experiences, their childhood, their professional life ups & downs, and shared life principles …
When all goes well, a person ends up being a balanced adult, with more or less clear expectations in life and a set of skills that ensure his or her success according to his or her personality, choices and opportunities. But what happens when that person has been emotionally abused in the past, either as a child or as an adult?
Most people do not really like to talk about such a sensitive subject, even if a large portion of world population has suffered or still suffers from some form of emotional abuse and also faces on daily basis the impact on their lives. It is an uncomfortable subject, not prone to be revealed as it may show weakness or “faulty” individual.
How do we identify it and what can be done to raise the awareness among the others and ensure support?
First thing’s first: what are the signs of an emotional abused person?
In most types of relationships, whether it is with a parent, a friend, a co-worker (your boss for example) or other, a person may be experiencing emotional abuse if he or she is facing emotionally abusive words, actions, when he or she is walking on eggshells just to make sure the reaction of the other is as bearable & acceptable as possible, a very low self-esteem, feeling like nothing done is ever good or right, being bullied all the time and in all circumstances, being directly or indirectly threatened, baring no respect for own property or person, and so on… It sounds terrible to live it, isn’t it? Well, unfortunately, that is the reality of more and more people throughout the globe today.
How can the others around the abused person support? Well, first of all, by being a great active listener, as in many cases, a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen are missing. Then, what is a great way to counter act the negative impact of emotional abuse on a person’s life is to shift the focus on all positive aspects of his or her personality, way of thinking, actions, wishes, abilities. This way, the abused person finds his or her own inner strength again and pushes further towards a resolution and a way out, his style.
Again, the aim is not to tell him or her what to do as outside suggestions might not fit inside personality traits or wishes, so being gentle, supportive and positive can do wonders in helping the abused person to find his or her own answers and release that inner strength so necessary to break free.
Later on, a “freed” formerly-abused person, with the right support around and aware of his or her inner power is again able to grow and focus on own life, building the future on positivity, hope and forward-thinking.
How can we all raise awareness about the emotional abuse impact on one’s life? Simple, talk about it, do not shy away from it, be there, in the moment, with your soul wide-open and ready to chip-in with an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on. Talk about it to others, spread the positivity good word and be available to those in need.
Today, how do you support your friends, family and colleagues through storms in their life?